First I’d like to point out that sharks aren’t “mean.” They’re just hungry and if you’re in the water they just might taste you. A shark might decide you don’t taste good, and only eat your leg or arm; sometimes a shark will be so hungry it doesn’t care how you taste, and it’ll throw you around and eat you up.

Can you survive a shark eating you?

Probably not, but it really depends on how much of you it eats, what parts, and how much blood you lose before you get to the hospital. If it eats 1/2 of you, you probably won’t make it. If it eats your head, you’re doomed. If you lose 1/2 your blood before you get to the hospital, you probably won’t even need to go to the hospital.

Are you more likely to be kicked to death by a donkey than bitten by a shark?

I don’t know, man. I looked for info on this, ended up at Snopes.com, and they don’t know either.

Are you more likely to survive a shark or lion attack?

I don’t know. But one time when I was little I put a tarantula and a scorpion in a jar, and the spider won.

Is there a shark repellant for surfers?

They best thing I’ve found is Shark Shield, but I haven’t tested it out. If they’ll send me a free setup to test it for you, I’ll let you know how it goes.

What colors attract sharks?

Bright colors. Shiny things. So the wetsuit I have that has yellow and blue and red all over it is not a good thing to wear in the water, and jewelry isn’t a good thing to wear in the ocean either.

You also shouldn’t skinny dip in the ocean… the one time I got bumped by a shark, I had just slipped on my shorts under the water.

What do you do if a shark is near you?

Get back to shore quickly but without splashing and screaming. Splashing and screaming could excite the shark and cause it to attack you. But I’ll admit that the one time I was bumped by a shark, I got out as fast as I could and I did quite a bit of splashing.

Are there a lot of sharks in Galveston surf?

I’ve been told sharks like to hang out between the second and third sand bars. This sucks because the best waves are right in front of the second bar. I’ve never had any trouble with sharks in Galveston though, and I used to surf it nearly every day. This includes San Luis Pass, which people tell me is infested with sharks and has crazy rip tides. Never had any trouble there, it was just a great place to surf.

Do sharks attack people alone or in groups?

Sharks mostly attack people when people are alone, but they’ll attack people in a group also. It’s best to surf in a group. You probably won’t get attacked, but if you do, you have people to help you. And it’s more fun in a group anyway.

Do sharks come out in the rain?

Rain stirs up the water, and fish are known to bite more during or just after a rain. It seems likely that sharks are more prone to “attack”, or feed, during and just after a rain.

How fast do sea lions escape shark attack?

Hmm. I’d say sometimes it isn’t fast enough.

If a shark is involved in a fight and loses a limb will that limb grow back?

No.

Can you surf during menstruation?

I wouldn’t recommend it. Blood and even urine attract sharks.

Sharks attack surfers because they think they are:

Turtles. You look like a turtle from under the water when you’re on your surfboard and your legs and arms are hanging off the sides.

Staying calm around a shark…

I don’t think I could stay very calm around a shark, so I don’t have any mind tricks to share.

Will a shark leave if you hit them in their sensitive spots?

It might, and that’s what you should do. But the spot you should hit is their nose. I’m thinking it’ll be easy to see their nose in order to hit it because it’s right above the teeth they’re trying to eat you with.