Humans to Sharks: We don’t have to put up with your shark bites. In fact, if you bite one of our people, we will hunt you down, shoot you in the head, and saw apart your spinal cord.
Well I hope this works, because they’ve been biting us for years. It has got to stop. Humans are supreme, not to be mistaken for shark food, and we have to get this message across in a firm, clear way. A move this dramatic should provide the shock and awe needed in the shark community to make them stop this unnecessary human biting.
I hope the sharks are reading the news this morning. Of course, if not, I’m sure they’ll get the message about this once they see it happen. When their own shark friends turn up missing, out of the blue, or they see their buddies spine getting severed while they watch from below. They’ll put it on the Shark News Channel and all sharks will realize that their thoughtless human biting days are a thing of the past.
And I hope they don’t retaliate by strapping bombs to little sharks, and then training those little sharks to bite people.
And just wait until sharks evolve legs, illegally infiltrate our country and protest equal rights and free hospitalization on our streets. But that one’s actually hard to imagine … creatures swimming across the gulf and into America? Yea right.
Somehow I don’t think this one’s going to be as easy as we think.
Real Shark News Headlines
ROGUE sharks that attack beach goers this summer will be hunted down, shot in the head and sawed apart until their spines are severed.
Man-Eater Shark Spines ‘To Be Severed’
Killer sharks to get spines severed
